Why people try so hard to come off as intelligent, is no riddle. We all want to impress, and we all have our dignity and pride to protect, or in some cases, to force upon others so as to recognize their brilliance. A joy to be around egocentric people, isnt it?
Even now, Im doing it, Im talking about this as if I know all about it. And I feel like the worst sort of hypocrite. I wish I could go on, feeling like I dont have to impress, but its what drives me most of the time. Its what messes me up, too.
For art, one person walked into my room and exclaimed that he could understand my point of view. I dont understand what he means. I look at my paintings, and even I dont get any sort of reflective viewpoint. I dont get it. Maybe there is something, that I dont see, but others can. Or maybe theyre lying to me, and only saying they see something because they think it was my intention for anyone viewing them to see something. Art makes no sense, and I dont think anyone will ever grasp it completely. To me, its like the concept of god or religion, its something no one can completely understand, something that will have an unsolvable mystery to it.
I dont know what prompted this entry. A mix of disappointment, sadness, yet relief and happiness. Things will improve. What things? I have no idea, just enjoy that statement as it is, there is no deeper meaning hiding underneath it.









Are you rooming with anyone, or do you have the whole place to yourself????
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. . .
ehehee. Didn't knoww you had onee
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Let my tears fall, let my hope sing. Let my body swim free in the water, let my heart die with the mourner.
Never to move, never to age, this is the punishment for the sins I've made.
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